Illustration for article titled Top 12 Rules For Our Man Cave That Were Too Laxly Enforced In 2020

Our man cave adheres to all international laws regarding the manufacture, distribution, and deployment of chemical weapons—no ifs, ands, or buts. You drop even a single vial of white phosphorus in the man cave, and we’re gonna ask you to leave. Only this year, we were having such a good time at Brock’s Free At Last party that things got out of hand, and Wally busted out some sarin gas, and we didn’t say anything since we didn’t want to crush the mood. But since then, mustard gas and bromobenzyl cyanide have become all too common among the man cave’s regular guests, and we don’t want anyone to get hurt, or have to face the International Criminal Court in the Hague. So in 2021, we’re going back to our strict policy against chemical weapons.

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