Illustration for article titled Console Wars: Sony Undercuts Xbox’s $500 Price By Printing Counterfeit Bills To Cause Hyperinflation And Make The American Dollar Worthless

Oh boy, gamers, Microsoft is not gonna be happy about this one! After last week’s $499 price reveal of the upcoming Xbox Series X, Playstation struck back, printing billions in counterfeit bills and flooding the market to cause hyperinflation, making the American dollar completely worthless.

Hope you Xbox stans enjoy spending $400,000 on a can of Coke!

Gamers have been waiting with baited breath for Sony’s response to the Series X price, remembering gleefully that the company drew blood last generation by pricing the Playstation 4 at $100 less than the Xbox One. Thankfully, the machiavellian masterminds at Sony did not disappoint, with their gambit sending U.S. markets into a historic panic that has led to Americans carrying around wheelbarrows full of cash, begging retailers to take anything for food, and hoarding clean water and firearms. Sorry Microsoft, but you can’t make money if money doesn’t even mean anything anymore!

Xbox took a calculated risk by continuing to price their console at a premium, hoping the higher margins would cover the cost of new technology, but Sony did not miss a beat in flooding the American money market with cheap cash and phony currency, completely breaking down the very system Microsoft hoped to rely on. We’re guessing that far fewer gamers are going to be willing to barter for a Series X using sacks of potatoes and goats—the few products with tangible value now that the country’s markets have imploaded due to hyperinflation. If you’re a Sony fan, you gotta love the thought of getting one over on Microsoft like this, no matter how cold, hungry, and terrified you might be about the impending collapse of human society.

Still, you can never count out a console-maker like Microsoft until it’s over, especially in an epic rivalry like this. In fact, we’re already hearing reports that Microsoft execs have gathered a pile a sharpened sticks and started throwing stones at the windows of the Sony of America headquarters in order to tempt them into a hand-to-hand brawl to end their efforts at currency manipulation. All we can say for sure is the future looks bright, because when two tech giants like this clash, gamers win!



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