ALPHARETTA, GA—As the glow of her victory dimmed and the reality of what she’d agreed to do finally dawned on her, newly elected QAnon-supporting Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-GA) was reportedly worried Wednesday morning that she was selling out by going to work with a pedophile cabal. “I mean, Congress is rife with dozens, if not hundreds, of Satanists who sell kids into sex slavery, and I really signed up to go work with them? What’s wrong with me?” said Greene, who said that although she knew anyone running for office would have to make some compromises, she wondered how she was going to maintain her anti-pedophile credentials if she willingly worked alongside all the child molesters in Congress. “Only a complete and utter sellout would spend all this time railing against the House of Representatives, one of the centers of the global sex-trafficking ring that President Trump is nobly trying to fight against, and then sign up to join them. Where is my sense of ethics? Try to change things from the inside, I told myself—fat chance. If I could talk to a younger version of myself, all full of hope that we could successfully dismantle the global child-trafficking ring, I just hope she would still respect me.” At press time, an increasingly remorseful Greene was reportedly considering giving her seat up altogether after receiving a call from House minority leader Kevin McCarthy informing her that she would receive an assignment to sit on the House Subcommittee For Adrenochrome Harvesting.