The rhythmic beauty of Irish step dancing combined with the thrill of chainsaws.

Loch Lohan, Ireland – Each year, the neighboring towns of Barry and Redmond held spearate festivals on the same weeekend.

The centerpiece of Redmond’s celebration was “Texas Chainsaw Masters,” a cutting edge sport involving juggling and sculpting with power blades.

Barry, on the other hand, sponsored a step dancing competition called “Riverjig.”

“Not only was the tourist dollar split between the two towns but so were the sexual demographics,” said Barry mayor Niall O’Ryan. “Women from Redmond came to Barry, and vice versa. That led to a bitter feud that raged on for decades between the two.”

This year, the two towns ended the rivalry because of the pandemic. “We wanted to support each other during these difficult times,” said O’Ryan.

But the citizens decided to combine these traditional competitions into a single display of toe-tapping violence – making sure that there was proper social distancing at all times.

“We call it the Jig Saw,” O’Ryan told Weekly World News. “It combines the rhythmic beauty of Irish step dancing with the thrill of chainsaws.”

AILEEN REYNOLDS – THE RUNNER-UP!

WOMEN CUT THROUGH

At first, Jig Saw was to be “men only” as it was deemed too dangerous for women. But due to the threat of heavy fines from the powerful Irish league of Dancing, and objections from the strong females of every age in town, women were included.

Last week, as bagpipes blew, the competitors powered up their chainsaws. Holding the blades overhead, they began dancing in place. As their hard soles pounded to the rhythmic beat, they sawed through tree trunks to create a work that combined speed and artistry.

The crown was awarded by a panel of judges from both towns.

“The first year’s competition was won by Katie O’Meara,” said O’Ryan. “She was not only the best dancer but won by carving a masterful image of St. Patty and the snakes.”

The men’s winner was Peter “Power” O’Toole, with John “The Tool” Maloney taking second.

“Some suggested that the men should compete directly with the women next year. But Power O’Toole objected, “When I have to surrender my crown to a mere slip fo a girl, the jig is up… literally.”

KATIE O’MEARA – THE CHAMP!





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