MOUNT OLIVE, NJ—Weaving a florid tale of the event’s success despite the self-isolation brought about by the coronavirus pandemic, a local Instagram post reportedly began, “It wasn’t the first birthday we imagined, but we spent the day surrounded by love,” the first thread in an elegant tapestry of fabricated embellishments.

“This year has been hard on all of us, but it’s also been a wonderful experience to go through as a family, and Logan turning 1 was a joyous occasion that reminded us all that life goes on,” read the long, ornately woven canvas spun of exaggerated contrivances, festooned with lie after outright lie. “Jeff and I always envisioned celebrating Logan’s first birthday at home with my parents and the rest of my family back east, but honestly, getting to spend a lazy Saturday with just the three of us was truly beautiful. Seeing everyone’s smiling faces on the Zoom call filled all three of us with such pure love and joy (even if Logan was a little fussy!). We couldn’t have felt more supported surrounded by family both virtually and a spirit. It was a beautiful occasion, and just what we all needed.”

The tapestry of sumptuous puffery reportedly concluded with the masterstroke fabrications, “Love to everyone” and, “Hope to see you all soon!”

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