LOS ANGELES—Waxing philosophic about the team’s chemistry and grit over the dinner table, media mogul Bill Simmons critiqued his wife’s lasagna Tuesday by insisting that the 1985-1986 Boston Celtics were still better.
“You made a great marinara sauce, honey, but it doesn’t quite blend together like Bird, Parish, and McHale,” said Simmons, insisting that the three-layered pasta dish simply was not as deep as the Celtics roster that brought Bill Walton off the bench. “I’ll admit that this lasagna is sneaky good. It’s kind of like the Hawks stealing a game from the Celtics in the second round. But we’re talking about a team with Carlisle and DJ manning the backcourt—your meal just can’t compare.”
At press time, Simmons was doing damage control by comparing the speed his wife cleared the table to Michael Jordan’s 63-point performance against the Celtics in Game 2 during the first round of the 1986 Eastern Conference Playoffs.