GRETA Thunberg has returned to school to find neither her teacher or any of her classmates noticed she was gone. 

The climate activist, who made international headlines with a school strike before touring the world and speaking at the UN, arrived back at her old desk to discover nobody knew anything about any of it.

She said: “I turned to Olof in the seat next to me, and said ‘It really is good to be back,’ and he said ‘Uh? What, you been somewhere?’

“I explained about the strike and the trip across the Atlantic and meeting Barack Obama, but he had already stopped listening and was doodling the logos of rock bands on his notebook.

“My other classmate Ebba swore that I had been here the whole year and that she had borrowed a pencil from me. I said no, I had sailed to New York, and she asked if I had visited the M&M Store.

“At breaktime they confronted me and told me stop telling lies. I said it was true and they said so have you stopped global warming then. And I had to say no, I have not.”

Teacher Pekka Hammar said: “Greta is not so close to anyone, but I would notice if she was absent. These stories about thrilling intercontinental catamaran journeys are just made up.”

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