PAPILLION, NE— Tapping deep into his imagination as he composed the message from the passenger seat, local man James Burditt was reportedly working in some creative flourishes Tuesday in the ghostwritten text to his friend’s mom.
“Don’t get me wrong, what he told me to type was a good start, but there are a few weak points we could definitely refine,” said Burditt, who assured his friend he was just trying to get past the lock screen as he pulled up an online thesaurus to look for another word for “good.” “‘Be home at 11’ is just, I don’t know, a bit stiff. I’m going to tack on an ‘if that sounds alright with you’ to soften things up. Now the only question is if I say ‘I love you, mom.’ Is that too on the nose? Maybe I’ll do a heart emoji instead. It’s better to show than tell.”
At press time, Burditt had decided to tell his friend’s mother her son had been injured in a terrible accident after realizing it was easier to write in his own voice.