THE Premier League is beset by issues like goals disallowed because two millimetres of a striker’s soul has strayed offside. But it happened way before VAR – here’s how: Soft lads with sleeve tattoos In the old days, footballers sported ink more in keeping with a prison yard than theRead More →
A COUPLE who can barely put up a shelf have decided they want to buy a tumbledown chateau in rural France. Source linkRead More →
A COUPLE who can barely put up a shelf have decided they want to buy a tumbledown chateau in rural France. Emma Logan and her husband Tom believe selling their warm and comfortable home in Luton to purchase a wreck with no electricity or running water is a sensible plan.Read More →
WHATEVER you cobble together in the kitchen will be far inferior to any takeaway. But you still need some excuse for getting yet another chicken bhuna. Try these. Work was stressful Even though you mostly sat at your computer mindlessly scrolling through Twitter, it’s important to make it seem asRead More →
THERE are only 36 shopping days until Christmas is cancelled. Joking! But assuming it does happen, how does one go about shopping for an indeterminate number of kids? Source linkRead More →
HAVE you formed a bubble with a friend but now want to switch bubbles to a different, better friend? Break the news gently: It’s not you, it’s your household Explain that you absolutely love your friend and have complete trust in their Covid risk level, but sadly you can’t sayRead More →
WITH a month until the transition deadline expires, just how unprepared are you for the oncoming shitstorm that is Brexit? Find out with our quiz. Have you secured a trade deal with the EU? A) No. I stack shelves in Morrisons so I don’t think they’d listen even if IRead More →
SPARKS, MD—Growing increasingly irked by the inconsiderate behavior, employees at local advertising firm Valley Media were reportedly annoyed Friday that their coworker, Josh Goldberg, kept sending annoying after-hours emails about how he’s trapped in the office elevator. “It’s hard to enjoy my downtime when my phone keeps buzzing with messagesRead More →
NINTH CIRCLE, HELL—Claiming that untold wealth could be yours for the “low, low price of half your immortal essence,” Satan, the Great Tempter and Prince of Darkness, announced this morning a Black Friday deal in which human beings could trade a mere 50% of their soul for a lifetime ofRead More →