ELMHURST, IL—Admitting that more than anything he missed getting up in disgust in the middle of a game to go mow the lawn, local baseball fan Mike Gengaro told reporters Wednesday that he was excited for the return of switching to a movie two hours into a 5-1 game that’s still only in the 4th inning.
“It’s been a tough summer so far without baseball, but now I’ve got a six-pack in the fridge, the Cubs-Twins game is starting in a few hours, and I just can’t wait to flip over to TNT and watch Jack Reacher halfway through,” said Gengaro, who claimed he could barely remember the last time he spent an evening glued to his phone while half-watching the 3rd hour of a 6th-inning blowout.
“To me, kicking back and watching ESPN as I occasionally flip back to a game is what the summer is all about. There’s nothing like the excitement of watching a baseball game and suddenly realizing there is a whole season of Westworld that I haven’t watched yet. It’s really gonna help me get through the next few months until football starts and I can check out of the season completely.” Gengaro added that the one thing he would still miss during quarantine was having his friends over to silently eat chips and occasionally mutter “bullshit” before leaving to pick up their kids.