FOX CHAPEL, PA—Taking a sip of her jumbo frozen margarita and asking everyone if they remembered the Dripping Springs Reunion tour, local Aunt Dottie Preston, who is really mom’s friend, announced Thursday that she saw the inside of Willie Nelson’s bus once.
“Oh, let me tell you, the year was 1972, but back then, your mom and I—we were no angels,” said the woman everyone affectionately called “Aunt Dot,” who then winked, and proceeded to regale the room with details about how she and “the girls” hopped a fence and then danced their way up to the front row, where your mom and her “perky little rack” caught the eye of one of Willie’s roadies.
“Well, once ‘The Serpent’ had eyes for your mom, it was all over. Yeah, she was dating your dad at that point, and sure, we were only 17, but that didn’t stop her from flirting us all the way into Willie’s bus! Believe me when I tell you it was way messier than you’d think, and it smelled a little bit of marijuana. Oh, we were so bad!” At press time, Aunt Dot revealed a small dolphin tattoo right above her pelvis and went on to tell the room about the crazy night in Cabo where it all went down.