CUPERTINO, CA—In an effort to build greater customer loyalty, tech giant Apple announced Thursday the rollout of a new subscription bundle called Apple One, which will combine its popular music and TV services with a hearty stew developed by CEO Tim Cook, all at one discounted monthly rate.

“Apple One will make it easier than ever to access the up-to-the-minute news, unrivaled entertainment, and aromatic meat-based and vegetarian stews that our users have come to expect,” said company spokesperson Lynne Duncan, adding that the basic bundle would provide up to four family members at a time with access to Apple Music, Apple TV+, and Tim Cook’s signature blend of seasonal vegetables and rich, warm broth, to be delivered nightly to one’s door.

“Apple is offering more great content than ever before, and we can’t wait for our valued customers to see and smell what we’ve got in store for Apple One, from bold new original programming to Tim Cook’s delicately spiced bone-in ham stock. Members will also have the option of customizing their subscription with premium add-ons such as Apple Arcade, additional iCloud storage, or a fresh, crusty San Francisco sourdough loaf hand-carved into a soup bowl by our CEO himself.”

Duncan added that while the initial rollout would offer hot soups no matter the time of year, Cook and a team of engineers were looking to expand into gazpachos by 2024.

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