LA JOLLA, CA—His eyes flooding with tears as the full weight of the news sank in, local 9-year-old Taylor Warner announced Thursday that he was very sad his parents were getting divorced and his father’s iPad would soon be moving out of the house. “I’m going to miss Dad’s iPad so much when it isn’t here with me every day,” said the sobbing fourth-grader, who was reportedly struggling to come to terms with the fact that the device that comforted him and made him smile would no longer be there for him when he woke up each morning and went to bed each night. “My whole life, anytime I’ve felt lonely or sad, I could go find my Dad’s iPad and we’d play a fun game together or find a YouTube channel that would cheer me up. My favorite was weekends, when Dad didn’t need the iPad for work and we could spend the whole day together. If I ask Mom to buy me a toy or game, she usually says no, but Dad’s iPad always lets me. I wish I could hold it right now.” At press time, Warner was seen awkwardly getting to know his mom’s new boyfriend’s Amazon Fire tablet.